From early childhood to well into your adulthood, running into issues with your family members is bound to happen. This may be because of the significant differences in your values and views on the world, a difference in temperament, lack of patience on both ends. The list goes on, as there are many ways to start a conflict, but how does one keep the relationship stable without sacrifice?
Tackling the source
Maybe your parents always nagging you to improve aspects of your life that you simply have no desire to change. Or you have had to face a decision which had a profound impact on your life all by yourself while your family decided to stay out of it. Whatever it was, at some point those who you grew up loving and relying on for everything made you feel all alone and betrayed. It happens to everyone, as it simply is a part of life. The more you shape your own character, the greater the conflicts will be with your immediate family. Because the chances that they will support all your decisions that weren’t even thought of during their life at your age are slim.
This is why you need to tackle the core value which prevents you from maintaining an argument free interaction with your close ones. Knowing what it is that makes them tick, whether it is your habits, or views on life will help you avoid the confrontational topics. The point is not to change your family, but to work around the differences. Remember, there is always something you can learn from those you come in an interaction with, however to get them to share it requires some common ground. On the bright side, years of living together or being part of each other’s’ life must have shed some insight, so use that as a foundation towards staying free of conflicting interactions.
The fact of the matter is that sometimes being completely honest is going to end up hurting somebody. Which is why you have to keep some opinions to yourself while keeping an open mind to what it is you are being told. That’s not to say you have to blatantly agree to everything being thrown your way, but selectively stop paying attention to the negative triggers. It is very important that you do not try and focus on changing anybody, but rather embracing who they are and finding what it is you have in common. Similar interests and values can serve as a foundation towards improving a fragile relationship with your family members, or improving an existing good one.
Sometimes, those who care tend to become over protective and by doing so they feel restrictive and insensitive. Understanding the root cause of their concern can help you stay one step ahead and not take words so close to heart. Forgiveness can go a long way, while holding a grudge will keep you circling the same spot your entire life.
Reflect on experiences
When things seem to get out of hand, try and focus on the positive interactions that you had with the family member you now have a conflict with. Remembering a good experience can make the current reality seem like they are not the end of the world, and will make you less reluctant to try and rebuild your trust. Remember though, that once certain relationships deteriorate beyond the point of having the potential to be fixed, its best to stay at bay. Some interactions can still have a positive impact on your life however they may have to be kept at a minimum. So decreasing the frequency you come in contact with a family member who constantly opposes your views will give conflict less opportunities to arise.
By focusing on the positive and tuning out the negative triggers from your interactions with your close ones, you will get better each time at avoiding conflicting situations. Seeing what works and keeping track of it will enable you to build on the positive foundation in your relationship. At the end of the day, every person regardless of how close or dependent they feel on those around them is still an individual of their own, with unique values and views. Keeping an open mind towards them and understanding the cause of the frustration is your first and main step to overcoming the conflicting differences.